Person:Rae McGrath (1)

She was a amazing ay who touched everyone she came in contact with

This is my eulogy to my bride read by my son Joe because I didn’t think people would understand me.

Let me begin by reminding you that Rae Marie and I both suffered the curse of Parkinson’s disease. Like most diseases Parkinson’s effects people differently. In my case it has adversely affected my speech so it may be difficult for some of you to understand what I’m saying. If this is a problem I’ll provide translations copies of my eulogy after the Mass.

Let me explain my constant reference to my Beloved Rae Marie. When we were first married Rae Marie heard Jerry Vale sing “And This Is My Beloved” and she loved it because she told me it reminded her of me. I’m returning the favor to my beloved Rae Marie.

Rae Marie should have been a professional shopper. She could find bargains that defied reason. And she’d find a sale, with a discount and she’d find a rebate somewhere and the product would end up costing a fraction of the original cost. Amazing. I remember Rae Marie really in pain with the spinal stenosis and her budging disks in her back, and her Parkinson’s but she’d get in a store and it was like she’d been to Medjugorje or Lourdes or she had seen Ernest Angley the TV evangelist and she’d be healed for that time as if in a time warp. And some of you don’t believe in miracles? How foolish of you. You never shopped with my Rae Marie. .

I like to tell the story how Rae Marie always told me I was the cutest thing she ever saw. The cutest thing she ever saw, me? Now that’s funny. I’d never describe my self as cute. Look up here at my face. Cute it isn’t.  But beauty is in the eye of the beholder and Rae Marie saw me through rose-colored glasses, colored by love thank God.

Now let me extol some of the many virtues of my Beloved Rae Marie. There is no one who was as kind, as emphatic, as caring, as giving as Rae Marie. I know there are many of you out there that were recipients of her kindness. How many of you received cards in the mail from Rae Marie for no reason other then to tell you she was praying for you? How many of you phoned her or stopped her after Mass to tell her of a situation you were going through and listened as she presented a different perspective for you to consider. I personally witnessed people she spoke with walk away with a new positive outlook on their situation. She was remarkable. An amazingly gifted Rae Marie sharing her wonderful capability of compassionate listening and giving sage advice, what a joy to see.

Rae Marie was a victim of her Catholic educational background. But as we discussed the issues of the day she displayed a remarkable growth in her belief and a spiritual depth way beyond mine. She became an advocate for causes she considered important in as she called it "Her" church. She was staunch supporter of women’s rights, not necessarily the priesthood but she felt women should be given a real voice in the decision making process within her Church. Not too long ago we attended a meeting where there was to be a discussion of the priestly sexual abuse in the church and what we felt should be done about it. The panel was composed of a detective, a psychologist, a priest and district attorney. Rae Marie as very impressive as she debated the psychologist who was retained by the church to counsel and defend the priests. Rae Marie was quoted in the Buffalo News about the meeting. One of her quotes used in the newspaper was.

“Would they tell a child who had been raped that the rapist only did it once?” as she supported a zero tolerance policy for sexual abuse offenders in the clergy. As you can see he depth of her faith was deepened as she questioned and probed the attitude of the church. She believes a questioning faith becomes a stronger faith.

Witty, her humor witty and sharp.

As one of the wonderful people at the Legacy an adult living arrangement where we had just moved wrote....

“Although we had only known her a short period of time, we quickly came to love her. She was a gentile soul, with devastating sense of humor and a quick wit. She will be sorely missed.” And they had only known Rae Marie for a couple of months. This is an example of how quickly she affected people.

Her independence was displayed one time when Fr. Al Clody asked her to do a reading at Mass. Reading was the one where the women were told to be subservient to her husband and she wanted to change the way the reading was presented. Fr. Al said no so she also said no she wouldn’t and didn’t do the reading that day. Can you imagine living with a woman who demanded equal status? I did and I loved it and I loved her independent attitude.

To paraphrase Proverbs: Chapter 31

If you find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems. Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. She will not hinder him, but help him all her life

Rae Marie sure did.

She is energetic, a hard worker, and watches for bargains.

Did she ever.

She sews for the poor, and generously gives to the needy,

She always was aware of he poor, the poor not only economically poor but the poor in spirit as well.

She is a woman of strength and dignity, and has no fear

   of old age.

When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness

    is the rule for everything she says.

Again her kindness speaks volumes

Her children stand and bless her; so does her husband. He praises her with these words: "There are many fine

    women, but you are the best of them all."

Praise her for the many fine things she does.

God, I feel so blessed for being with her for 48 wonderful years but I could have used a couple more.

Let me end with a reading from Philippians 1:3 referencing Rae Marie

I give thanks to my God every time I think of you-which is constantly, in every prayer I utter