Person:Betty Keller (4)

A raucous laugh . . . a smiling face . . . unfailing energy . . . a gusto for living . . . enthusiasm for new experiences . . . an adventurous spirit . . . a heart overflowing with family love . . . that's what Betty Anns are made of.

July was a good month for the birth of Betty Ann Keller Drago. Just like July, Betty was filled with sunshine, fireworks, beach warmth, and long days filled with enthusiastic optimism.

Betty Ann Keller Drago was born on July 11, 1938 in her parents' apartment at 22 Scrantom Street in Rochester, New York. She was a beautiful, favored child . . . the first grandchild on both her maternal and paternal side. She was a second generation American her maternal grandparents having emigrated from Germany and her paternal grandparents from Hungary. Because she was the first baby in both families, she was a cherished, treasured child.

As time passed, however, cousins and siblings joined her. She easily adapted to the role of being a big sister. The big sister of the family was proud of the fact that she and her brother, Bob, and sister, Carol, never really had any serious fights. They had the usual kid arguments but never anything to ruin their relationship with each other. She described her brother, Bob, as a very special person because he was so loving and giving. What she failed to recognize was that he found it easy to be loving and giving to her because she was a very special person. One of the great sadness in her life was when Bob was killed in the line of police duty.

Betty was always a golden child partly because she had such a golden head of curls and partly because she had such a sunny disposition. She charmed those with whom she came in contact. When she was a preschooler, she returned to Rochester with her Keller grandparents. They had been visiting Betty's parents in California. With the approval of her parents, Betty returned with her grandparents for a visit to Rochester. It was wartime and servicemen filled the trains. Betty became the pet of the traveling soldiers and sailors. She had learned a popular tune of the day, "Pistol Packin' Mama," and sang it Shirley Temple fashion. She was adorable as she sang that song with her hands on hips and belting it out at the top of her voice. At least once each day, someone would stand her on a seat and ask her to sing "Lay that pistol down, Babe, lay that pistol down." During this trip very few seats were available. A conductor offered to get seats in the ladies' room for Betty and her grandma. Betty asked the conductor, "What about my grandpa, can he go in there, too?" The conductor responded that it wasn't possible. Betty's reply was, "If my grandpa can't sit in there with us, then I won't sit in there either!" The conductor eventually found seats together for all three of them. Even at that young age, she was caring about the welfare of others.

Something few people know or remember is that Betty Ann was a hero at a very young age. She was probably about twelve years of age when she saved a neighbor child from drowning. The neighbor owned a restaurant/hotel on Irondequoit Bay. Betty's mother and dad worked at the restaurant and Betty spent summers at the hotel to keep the neighbor child company. One day they were playing in the sandy area outside the hotel and decided to clean up when they were finished. There were ramps at the water's edge and the two little girls decided to walk just a little past the ramp edge to wash their hands. Holding hands, since neither was a swimmer, they walked down the ramp and stepped into the water. The bottom was covered with algae which made the stones very slippery. They both slid into deep water and became separated. Betty managed to get to the dock. While hanging on she kept calling out to the other girl and reaching out her hand. The little girl finally touched Betty's hand and Betty pulled her to safety. The little girl's mother then enrolled both of them at the K of C for swimming lessons.

Betty was a popular and pretty teenager. In photos from that period in her life, one can see a blossoming young woman in various glamorous poses. Her love for attractive and fashionable clothing was evident even in her early teens. As she matured, her prettiness turned to beauty. Her graduation from high school was a big family event everyone sharing in the greatness of the occasion. Despite her father's urging, she decided not to go to college; rather, she chose to be a secretary. She felt that if she married and had a family, it would be easy to return to that kind of job when her children started school. She was right. After her return from California, she began working at the University of Rochester a job that continued until she became disabled. She loved the people she worked with and the responsibilities with which she was entrusted. It was difficult to leave her position when the terrible paralysis set in.

Despite her happy-go-lucky ways, Betty's life was not as easy as it seemed. She was not one to place the burden of her problems on others. She was something like the Unsinkable Molly Brown whose song, "I ain't done yet!" reflected her strong will to survive. This was so very evident when her first marriage was drawing to a sad conclusion. Her husband was going to be reassigned in the navy and they decided she and the two boys should visit her parents in California until the reassignment came through. When she was five months pregnant with Lonna, she received a letter on Mother's Day from her husband telling her he was in love with another woman and wanted a divorce. She returned to Florida to settle an insurance issue and then drove her car (which her husband had at the time) back to California, alone and eight months pregnant. When asked what she would have done if she started having labor pains, she responded that she would have pulled to the side of road, had the child, and would then have found the nearest hospital as she wasn't sure she could cut the cord. It's hard to imagine her driving that long distance, alone and pregnant. Her car wasn't air conditioned, she was trying to save money by not staying in too many motels, and she was anxious to get back to her boys. When asked why she did it, she said, "I needed that car!"

There was another failed marriage and once again Betty kept her silence about a relationship that wasn't working. Instead, she immersed herself in family helping her Mom and sister, making sure her children had the necessities. Betty was a single mother long before it was in vogue. Yet, she never complained about her responsibilities she accepted them and lived up to them.

At long last she found the man with whom she could have a happy and full life. Betty and Frank were married on Valentine's Day and started to share the experiences and adventures of travel, skiing, music, GEVA, and sunny Cancun. Added to their happiness was their little hairy baby, George. Betty finally had a partner who understood her need to be a caregiver. Their two families intermeshed and they had parties to celebrate their two clans. Clambakes, Christmas parties, reunions at the beach, gatherings at the clubhouse all designed to celebrate life and family. He was her knight in shining armor who treated her like a princess and she loved every moment of it.

Betty once said that she was a between-generations person. Some of her cousins were the age of her children and because of this, she often felt she didn't fit in with either them or their parents. What she didn't realize was that she was part of all of her family's generations she was a bridge for the generations. She was always the life of any party it didn't matter what age, people enjoyed being with her. She loved living. When the paralysis became more confining, she said, "I sometimes think that I should be saying, Okay, this was all a hoax. You have all proven how much you love me, now let's party.'"

Betty had a great capacity for giving of heart and resources . . . As a granddaughter, she brought youth and energy to her two widowed grandmothers when she frequently visited them. She was like a fresh breath of air bursting in the door with a smile filled with cheerfulness and optimistic expectations of a good time. Knowing of her loneliness, she took her Grandmother Keller on family trips and spent hours with her asking about family. This loving granddaughter instinctively knew that it was important to her grandmothers to talk about times past. Betty also wanted to know about her heritage and listened closely to the stories of her grandmother's life.

As a daughter, Betty was devoted to her mother and father. She and Frank gladly opened their home to Anna when she was looking for an apartment. They willingly included her on trips. Betty wanted her mom to have some fun in her life. When her father moved back from California to Rochester, she was elated that she would have more time with him. She gave birthday parties for him, shared trips to Niagara-on-the-Lake, had theater dates with him and his wife, Betty, and made up for the time lost due to the many miles separation. When he passed away, she continued her caring relationship with her stepmother, Betty.

As a caring and loving mom, she has been there for her children in both their times of happiness and their times of need. She told her son, Don, of her pride in him for being such a good parent. One of her regrets in life was that she not given him a good father role model as he was growing up. His response was that she and her mom, Anna, had been all the role models he had needed. He assured her that the two of them had taught him the importance of family and love.

As a doting grandmother Betty has been proud of Ricky, Melissa, Desmond, and Colin enjoying the treat of watching their growth and development. She had mixed emotions about Ricky's plans to pursue a career in police science, but was pleased that he was making plans for furthering his education. Betty enjoyed the time she had with her granddaughter when she lived with her and Frank.

As a sister, she lovingly shared with Carol. The threesome of Betty, Bob, and Carol shattered when the burglar murdered Bob. Her sibling role became totally focused on her sister. When Carol arrived in Rochester after her move from California, she was welcomed with open arms into Betty's life and family.

Her heart was large enough to include Frank's children and grandchildren. She established close relationships with them and was so very appreciative of their loving support and visits during her hospitalization and home confinement.

As a member of her large family, she has been the cousin with all the energy and enthusiasm; the niece with the large, open, and giving heart, the aunt whose greatest wish was to keep her family together. She was overjoyed when she found her brother's daughter who had been estranged from the family.

Betty Ann gave and gave of herself and she felt enriched because of it. She was not one to ask for payment in return. She truly epitomized the proverb that "it is better to give than to receive."

What impact has Betty had on us?

By example, Betty Ann taught us to have a zest for living to enjoy each day to its fullest. She made us realize that life isn't always what you would choose but if you are knocked down, you get up, and you go on with living.

Through her behavior she taught us that despite any sadness you may encounter in life, always look for something to be happy about to laugh and enjoy your blessings. She didn't waste time dwelling on disappointments nor should we.

She also taught us the importance of family and wanted her children to realize how very significant ancestry is. Betty lovingly prepared books of photos and text for her three children so that they would have a sense of their heritage. It was important to Betty that her children remember those who had gone before them.

Last, but not least, Betty gave us lessons in courage and faith. Her doctor told her not too long ago, "Betty, you're a hero." And, a hero she was to all of us. Her acceptance of her illness was inspirational; she didn't complain or ask "why me." To the last, she had a loving, happy smile despite the discomfort, despite the pain. She told those who loved her that she was ready to die, that she had made her peace with her Lord. In a discussion of afterlife she described her perception of life after death. She was sure she would be reunited with her loved ones. They would recognize each other even though they were no longer in a body form. She said that they would love one another but in a different way than earthly love and that her new world would be so very, very beautiful.

When you feel terribly lonely for Betty, do what she told her son, Mike, to do . . . close your eyes, think of her, and she'll be there in your heart. Think of her in her beautiful heaven reunited with all those whom she has loved and lost. Think of her waiting to see you once again. And . . . think of her laughing.