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Kathleen Eva Toye
b.16 Oct 1925 Brockley, Kent, England
d.12 Mar 2009 Brampton, Peel, Ontario, Canada
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Kathleen was born on Oct 16, 1925 in London, England. Her father, CC Toye, always wanted to name her Mary, and so she was known as Mary to her friends and family. Her father was an accountant at the prestigiousSavoy Hotel in London England, later comptroller of the Savoy Group and one of the founders of the Masonic lodge there. When she was 2 they moved to Bellevue Road and lived above the Surrey Tavern which belonged to the Savoy. As a teenager, she attended school at the Clapham County Secondary School for Girls, but in 1940 was evacuated to the Windsor County Boys School to escape the blitz. She was not happy at school, so she returned to London at 16 to work as a cashier at Claridges Cuserie, then in Mens Hairdressing at the Savoy. It was then she met the man who was to become love of her life, Bill Stanners, on Wandsworth Common. He was 6’4” tall then, wearing a grey turtle-neck sweater and Harris tweed jacket – "far too handsome for his own good". She called him "Stan". At 17 she joined the Woman's Land Army WLA. She worked on farms at Ipswitch, then Lower Tadmorton, then Bucks, then Blaythorne in Chaddington. In May 1945, her father got her out of the WLA on compassionate grounds to look after her mother and her baby sister Rosemary. In Jan 1946, she went to work at Foyles Books. In Nov 1946, Stan came home on leave from Italy, and was assigned in London. They decided to marry, against their parents' wishes, and did so on 22 Feb 1947 at Wandsworth Town Hall Life in London after the war was not easy. Accomodation in particular was very difficult to find, and as neither sets of parents would allow them to live together in their homes, they lived separately for a year. They then found an appartment that was a shabby, converted air raid shelter, below ground and damp with an outdoor toilet. Here she developed her lifelong fear of rats. She worked at an admin job at Battersea General Hospital. They decided to emmigrate to Canada. They arrived in Toronto in June 1951 with $12, but fortuantely during the voyage they had made friends with an older couple who allowed them to stay at their home. They lived in a number of different appartments,and she worked at Toronto General Hospital in the Private Patients Pavillion as the secretary for the Nursing Supervisor in the morning, and Accounting for the Chief Dietician in the afternoon. Mary was terribly homesick, so she made arrangements to go back to England in July 1952. Also, her Mother had written she was dying and she didn’t want her Dad to care for Rosemary. Her mother was subsequently admitted to a psychiatric hospital for 4 months. She returned to Canada with Rose. In Feb 1953, their first daughter, Wendy, was born. In 1954, her mother came to Canada to take Rosemary back home to London. In Apr 1955 their son Duncan was born. In March 1957 their younger daughter Ailsa arrived. In 1956, she officially became a Canadian citizen. On her certificate, she is described as 5'2 1/2", with green eyes and dark blond hair. She was proud of being the tallest woman in her family. Family complete, they bought their first home at 31 Cloverhill Road in 1958. In 1962, Stan's work moved to Rexdale in NW Toronto, and the family moved to a new home at 14 Braddock Road. Hers was the last generation where the norm was for the wife to stay at home with the kids. Mary was an exceptional wife and mother. Every day she would make all the meals for the family, kiss her husband goodbye when he went to work in the morning, and serve him when he came home for lunch. She was active in Girl Guides with her daughters, taking along an electric chord organ (like an accordian) to play songs for the girls. Eventually she became a District Commissioner. In 1967, Canada's centennial year, she hosted 2 guides from Great Britain for a visit. Family holidays were spent at various rented cottages in Muskoka. She loved the country, but never learned to swim. As a child, her Dad decided the best way to teach her was to take her out in the ocean on his back, and then dive beneath the surface. She never got over her fear of the water. Her family loved those vacations. She made a deal with Stan to learn how to swim if he learned how to dance. They took dance lessons, and every Friday they would go for dinner and ballroom dancing at the Skyline Hotel. She grew more comfortable in the water, but renegued on learning to swim. In 1971, with all the kids in highschool, Mary decided she'd stayed home long enough, and decided to pursue a career in nursing. She enrolled in the Quo Vadis School of Nursing, a school established to allow mature students to earn their RN. Fortutious it was, for Stan was diagnosed with lung cancer. He underwent surgery to remove the lung, but it was too late. He died in Apr 1972, and left her and her 3 children, now 15, 16, and 19. Stan didn't believe in life insurance, viewing every year he survived the war as a gift. The mortgage on the house was paid off by his company, and Mary stood prepared to stand alone. Wendy graduated highschool and enrolled in nursing at Toronto General Hospital. Duncan, became "man of the house", and Ailsa, only just 16, carried on. She graduated nursing in Sep 1972. In her professional life, she adopted the name Kay, and so she was known to her friends and associates at work. Kay worked in the psychiatric at Queensway Hospital. In 1975, age 50, she took a course in Critical Care Nursing at St Michaels Hospital, and thereafter worked in Neonatal Intensive Care at Etobicoke General Hospital. Family was the most important thing to Kathleen. Wendy and her husband Ray presented her first grandchild Laura in 1980, and her second Heather in 1981. Duncan and his wife Jan had Fiona in 1984 and only grandson Logan in 1988. Ailsa and husband Will had Carolin in 1986 and Erin, the final grandchild in 1990. Laura and husband Joseph presented her with a great-grandaughter, Ella, in 2008. In 1986, she decided to retire at age 61. Selling the house on Braddock Rd, she moved to Bolton, Ontario to live with her daughter Ailsa and their family. She lasted 8 months, and then decided to return to work at Etobicoke General until she retired for good at age 65. In retirement, she busied herself with charity work and travel. Her charitable works included: 1959 to 1970 Girl Guides of Canada, Brownie Leader, District Commissioner, Division Commissioner, Area Training Commissioner 1980 to 1986 Toronto Humane Society Thrift Shop 1992 to 1994 James Bolton Community School - Reading Programme 1991 to 1995 Girl Guides of Canada - Brownie Leader 1994 to 2002 Older Women’s Network TeleChain 1994 to 2004 Caledon parent-Child Centre - Special Events 1994 to 2005 Chez Thrift Bolton She had a passion for animals all her life. Her first dog Judy, a Welsh Collie she got in 1946. While living at Braddock Rd she had German Shephards Nick, Alfred and George, and then a rescue mixed breed Kate. While living in Bolton, she share her affections with Teddy, Grace, Emma and Molly. She loved wildlife, the wolves, whales and birds, and contributed to wildlife charities.
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