Person:Elizabeth Francis (6)

In the poem, Silence, Marianne Moore said ... "The deepest feeling always shows itself in silence; not in silence, but restraint." What better words to describe Elizabeth Amelia Francis Keller whose life we are here today to celebrate. She was a quiet, shy, unassuming person whose reason for being was to serve others and to put foremost the happiness of those she loved. She didn't like or want to be the center of attention ... rather, she loved being the appreciative audience. And, most of us here liked having her there to applaud and encourage us.

There was more to her character and personality than just a quiet person, however. She was filled with spunk and courage; she enjoyed life; she loved to full capacity; and she endured despite all odds.

Elizabeth Amelia Francis, known by most of us as Betty, was one of four children born to Roy and Agnes. Her mom was deaf and Betty communicated with her in a special sign language often acting as her translator. She included her mother in her family life and loved her beyond measure. Without question, she and Adam had Betty's parents move in with them when they were having financial difficulties. Later on when her parents divorced, once again without question, she asked her mother to come live with her. It was the right thing to do. Betty came from a family that loved giving unusual names to one another such as Uncle Bubbles and Auntie Goo. It was also a family that loved to party and there was one gathering after another. It was obvious at these events that Betty was a favorite of her aunts, uncles, and cousins.

She and her sister Delores were best friends and she was always there to help her brother Buddy through one scrape after another. It was in her early years she developed this feeling of the importance of family and it continued the rest of her life.

It is often said that a mother wears a crown in which each gem represents one of her children. Betty loved children ... most especially her own and each one ... Judy, Butch, David, Debbie, Mary Jane, and Mike was a shining jewel in her motherhood crown. She thought no other was smarter, funnier, cleverer, handsomer, or more beautiful than her brood of six. She enjoyed their antics and their successes. A birthday never went by without a party ... the event gave reason to celebrate and to make each child feel very, very special. Her children always knew her love was constant and unconditional no matter what they did, she would always be there for them ... and, she was. And, then, they began to multiply giving Betty more jewels in her motherhood crown ... she was grandmother to 20 and she had nine great-grandchildren. Perhaps the greatest tragedy in her life was the loss of her daughter Judy to cancer. If she could have, she would have given her life to save Judy from that point on, it seemed that she became frailer and without energy. It was more than she could bear.

Betty's life was not an easy one. She was widowed at the age of 53. Despite pleas from her family, she kept true to her pledge to her husband to keep her son Michael with her. There was no arguing about it. It became evident to all of us that quiet Betty had a steely interior and she was going to survive and she was going to be the protective mother of her chick in the nest. We were all amazed that the woman we all thought was pretty much dependent on her husband for every thing was now taking care of herself and her son. And, she did it well.

She was also beset with physical challenges such as diabetes, heart problems, and kidney failure. She was frustrated and angry as most of us would be, but she didn't let her ill health interfere with her love for family. She still managed, with the help of her children, to come to family events such as anniversary parties, weddings, and birthday parties.

When someone passes away we only have an image of the later years, the suffering years. But Betty was certainly more than an old-before-her-time person. As a girl when she was being courted by Adam she was filled with joy and laughter. She and her boyfriend would go off to drive-in movies sometimes Buddy would be in the rumble seat (after all, he was Adam's best friend). At her wedding, she was a beautiful young bride filled with anticipation for what the future would bring. When Adam went into the service, she faithfully wrote each day to him and when he returned, they started their family of six children. She loved to jitterbug (something Adam pretended to do but not to Betty's satisfaction) so she would, in contrast to her usual shyness, ask friends and family to dance with her it didn't matter if her partner were a male or female she just loved to dance. Adam loved to tease her ... and she loved to be teased by Adam. If you listen and remember really hard, you might still hear her giggle as he hugged her, tickled her, or did some silly thing to hear her laugh.

Betty enjoyed a good joke ... especially one on her herself. You all probably have some fond memory of her in a funny situation. The writer of this eulogy would like to share such a memory. It was the end of the World War II when clothing material still wasn't up to par. Adam was in the Philippines and Betty was working. Since she couldn't drive, she commuted to and from work on the bus. At the time, she was living with her in-laws on Empire Boulevard. One day, just as she got off the bus it started to rain a real heavy, soaking downpour. It was the practice of everyone in the Empire Boulevard house to watch out the dining room window for Betty to come home. There she was, running down Empire Boulevard, past the firehouse (with firemen standing in the open door) and as she ran, her dress started shrinking on her. You could see it rising by inches! Betty valiantly ran while trying to pull the material down but to no avail! Firemen were hooting and whistling ... imagine poor shy Betty having to run past them! By the time she got to the house, her dress barely covered her behind. We all laughed ourselves silly ... but poor Betty always felt uncomfortable going past the firehouse after that. One of Betty's charms was that she could laugh at herself and in the years that followed the shrinking dress incident we chuckled often over it.

Now that Betty is gone, we ask ourselves what are the qualities for which we will long remember her. What were her unique traits? We certainly know she loved her children. She loved babies and when hers grew up, she was happy to see her grandchildren and great grandchildren come along. She was happiest when she was with family. Her family was given to her but she chose to make them her friends. She loved dancing and even after she had evidence of her first heart problem, she can be remembered dancing with sweat pouring off her forehead and saying "I love this!" She loved her boyfriend who became her husband and remained true to him until her dying day. She dated a few times in the years after his death, but it wasn't to be. When others encouraged her to find someone, she was heard to say, "nah, this isn't for me."

She wasn't a saint ... rather, she was a living, breathing, human being with all the needs all of us experience ... she was a warm and caring woman who was a sensual and romantic young wife, a loving mom and grandmother, a faithful friend and sister, a fierce protector of her Michael, and a giver rather than a taker. In contrast to a famous person who did it his way, Betty did it our way. She tried to please others rather than please herself. Her life was dedicated to her family ... not a bad goal in life.

She did the best she could and that is all we ask of one another. This shy, quiet, unassuming person was more than she ever imagined. She was a role model for us in her need to remain the quiet spectator ... she taught us to listen, to appreciate, and to applaud one another. She taught us the beauty and pleasure of being in the audience rather than acting on the stage. She was there for us when we acted out our problems, our happy moments and our sad times. So for all of us, I say Goodby, Betty ... and I ask, who will applaud us now?

Grandmother of 20. Great-grandmother of 1 Gave birth to 6 great kids